Belief
by MooMoogle
Summary: A peculiar girl seems to bring life to dull England, and though she is shunned by her students, Edmund's curiosity is piqued.
1. Intro

_so i live. i don't get on very often, and i don't really read so much anymore, but writing still has a thing for me. i got the idea of this fic from various books, picking up ideas and twisting them to make them my unique sort of thing. i might start reading again, though i doubt it; i'm so busy nowadays, with high school just around the corner. I promise, i've been working on my ed/oc story, and the phillip story, and i'll be updating as soon as i can._

After my first few days in that new place, I always thought nothing could be harder than going from a mere, common boy to being a King with the responsibility of leadership for his country. Ultimately, I was wrong.

It took a few weeks of denial in England to finally face the truth that we weren't going back. At least not in the near future, anyways. Maybe sometime—like the professor said—when we're not looking for it. But at the moment our hearts were set on it, and it wasn't coming. We had another life in front of us, and it was our duty to live it as we had before.

It had always been so easy, looking back, to live a normal life, but now it was proving rather difficult for all of us to adjust back into our old lifestyle. We found the most normal objects incredibly peculiar, simply staring in wonder as a cart passed by, incredulous at the fact that the horses drawing it were not protesting at having to haul such a thing. We would often find ourselves talking to the animals, taking a full minute to realize that we were babbling and weren't going to get a response. The clothing was scratchy and odd, and we had all stared at each other when we'd first fallen out of the wardrobe, wondering what on earth we were wearing. Nothing was close to our home in the least.

Luckily for us, we had a few more weeks to adjust to this mirthless land, better our surprise at stupid animals and control our snorts of laughter at the clothing so we could better fit in. Being a Monarch, you received plenty of attention, respect and scorn alike, but you had the power to do _something _if it wasn't likeable. Here, we doubted such actions would be allowed; we were no longer above others, but below nearly everyone, all of which were adults. We were slightly miffed at such prejudice, having been crowned at such young ages, but that was how things were here, and we were in no mood to make a scene. Besides, I hadn't seen a sword since we left Narnia, and I doubted the adults here would approve of sword fights to settle a quarrel.

The lack of a sword by my side was the hardest thing to get accustomed to. I hated it. I felt defenseless and stupid without it, which was odd, but I knew Peter felt the same way, too. It was the same with Susan and her bow, and Lucy with her dagger and cordial. We knew we didn't much have to worry about an entire army showing up and being expected to fight them—I mean, we did have an army on our doorstep, but to everyone around us, we were mere children and weren't expected to fight.

It was nice though, really. The professor never once told us we were lying, believed every word we said.. We knew he was probably the only one we ever _could_ tell, unless we ran across someone else who had happened to have gone to Narnia as well, but I doubted it. We all did. We had been the Four, the only Four, and it was good enough that we had gone to it at all. We tried to tell ourselves this, but our hearts all ached equally for all we had left behind. What I had once been afraid of had become my life, and I suddenly felt empty without it all, without the thrill, life, love, joy.. Everything here just seemed.. _dead_. It was awful.

But we pretended. We must have pretended well, too, because no one gave us a second glance when we boarded the train back home and left behind the only house with any ounce of magic. Parting with the wardrobe was like tearing away the last hopes we had, even though the professor had said we probably wouldn't get back that way. Nonetheless, all of us had retired into it our last few hours there. We felt it was a more formal goodbye to our country, even if we were so far from it. I had stared at the back of the furniture, wondering if the few inches of wood was all that separated us from our home. I had tried to doubt it, but I couldn't be certain. Nothing was certain, anymore. We needed to let things come as they could, as hard as it might be.

We remembered. We talked amongst ourselves, because we were the only company we had. No one knew. No one would ever know. It was our secret, and no one could, or would, believe in it.

Ha, if only I knew how naïve we were to think that.


	2. 1 Dull

_On another note:: Well, updates are going to be even more spread out now. I made my high school's volleyball team, which is a great thing for me, but that means I'll be busier than ever now. We have practices Monday thru Saturday, I believe, not to mention games. School hasn't even started yet, and already I'm busy as ever. I'm trying, I promise, and I won't forget about any of my fics. Another thing is that I'll admit it; I did no research on British Schools in the 1940's or anything. I read a little, or the little I could find, at least--trust me, I looked for twenty minutes-- but it's mostly guesswork. So don't be too hard on me; point out some tips if you can, but honestly, I know what I did wrong. Sort of. o.o  
_

Ah, school. That was where it all started, I believe.

The first day back was most interesting. Students laughingly resembled ants to us as they swarmed over the school grounds, happily chattering away to each other as they exchanged stories from their holiday. They were so insignificant compared to our experience.

We stood awkwardly over to the side, watching all this happen around us critically. They were stupid, or, for lack of a better word, naïve. It would be hard to act like them while retaining some sort of dignity. We knew this. We weren't sure if we were willing to stoop. But we didn't seem to have to worry about that, because either they had already noticed the odd behavior, or they simply were ignoring us. No one approached any one of us. We knew we had had friends here, but whether it was our cold eyes, the way we stood with our heads held high, or just the fact that we were all together, no one tried to pull us into the throng of students. It was amusing how no one would meet our eye; grim amusement maybe, but amusement. We couldn't possibly be isolated that easily, could we?

The bell rang, giving everyone a five minutes warning that class was to start soon. We didn't say anything to each other. Our eyes met briefly between each of us, and in unison we went our own ways.

Even on my own, I held my dignity and must have sent an aura of it around me, because still no one spoke to me. The senseless chatter was easy to drown out with simply my thinking, amazed at how many oddly dressed children were in this one place. Sure, I'd seen many in the city, and of course on the train, but it was still hitting me senseless over the head.

I must have left early enough, because once I was in my wing of the school, I ran across no one, the only sound being my footsteps and the faint voices of the students which were slowly growing stronger as they neared. I looked down at the slip of paper on which I had scrawled my classroom number on. A quick glance around did me no good in helping to finding my class. Having no intention of getting caught up in the maelstrom of my peers, I walked on, glancing at the doors and their golden pallets with the number stamped across them. I should be getting close, I thought.

I rounded the corner and found that I wasn't completely alone. A small girl, who looked to be about two years younger than me, stood with her books clutched to her chest as she peered at a door. One fist was clamped firmly over what I could only assume was the leg of a toy rabbit. The moment I saw her, a name seemed to drift lazily through my mind. Abigail, that was it.. Of course, I knew her before.. er, at least I thought I had.

"Uhm.. er.. Abigail.. do you happen know where room 23A is?" I asked, trying to sound as confident as I looked by approaching her. I was hardly ready for her reaction.

The moment my voice rang out to her, she had whipped her head around, her eyes widening in what I couldn't decide between fear and hatred. I had no idea as to _why_; for Aslan's sake, I hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. I just needed simple direction, that was all. "You!?" she shrieked, looking absolutely frazzled and no one should have blamed me for taking a step back in surprise. If her hands weren't full, I bet she would have pointed a finger at me in accusation. "And why should I help you, especially to get to a classroom you've been in for the whole first semester? You bullies _are_ as thick as a brick wall!" Her words were angry, but her large, liquid brown eyes were wide with fear, and she stood there for a moment, her mouth open as though she would say more, but the moment I finally had the courage to try to stutter some sort of question, she turned tail and fled down a side corridor.

…I was missing something here.

I managed to find my classroom on my own with a minute to spare, not daring to even look at anyone else in case they gave me the same reception. With my head ducked low, I slipped into the first empty desk I came across, which happened to be just in front of the teacher's desk. It was empty, and there was no sign of her anywhere.

A girl with blonde hair, curled and draped over one shoulder neatly, flounced into the room, looking back and waving to her friends before she turned, her eyes scanning the front row seats. There was only one left, and it happened to be the one beside me. Again, the moment her eyes set on me, a dark look passed over her face and her lip curled in disgust, glaring directly towards me. I blinked, wondering why I was being treated as such, narrowing my eyes in exasperation before turning away and drumming my fingers on the desk idly, staring hard out the window without seeing. Whether she took that as defeat, or she really wanted a front seat, I heard her slide in the desk beside me and from the sound of it, drop her books to the ground and slammed a pencil onto her desk. How temperamental, I thought with a smirk.

Students continued to trickle in the room, the number of vacant desks growing smaller until there were very few left and scattered about the room. I watched out of the corner of my eye as they entered, blinking at one particular girl who paused to scrutinize the number on the door for a rather long time before walking in. The murmur of talk continued on over the tardy bell, and I blinked at the lack of teacher. Four boys dashed noisily into the room, slipping into their seats and sniggering all the while, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes and turn towards the window beside me preferring to block out this embarrassment of a classroom with some good thinking.

I was still mulling over the odd reactions my presence stimulated when a different sort of feeling fell over the room, and it was stifling how tense the room became then. Turning, I swept my gaze over classroom and finally to the doorway, hardly interested but enough to annoy me until I found the cause of the stupid issue.

I hadn't the faintest idea as to why everyone seemed so intimidated by the appearance of the figure, who I could only assume was the teacher. She was a short, squat woman, with a pinched face that I was sure was a permanent feature. Her thin lips were pressed into a tight line as her beady eyes scanned over the room once, before making her way to the center of the room. I couldn't help but pair her image to a penguin, her walk resembling a waddle. It was completely _laughworthy_.

"I hope that you all had a fine holiday?" she asked, turned to us with a prim smile that was void of warmth.

No one breathed a word.

She beamed, as though she had received an excellent answer. I couldn't help but roll my eyes in exasperation. It amazed me that if people knew my siblings' secret, we would be considered weird, when yet they didn't know how odd they were themselves. For goodness sake, we were in a _classroom_, and people were acting as though an enemy leader had marched through the door with an army, when in actuality, it was a fat little woman with issues. "Well, I must remind you that we are no longer on vacation, and horseplay shall not be tolerated. Now, if you could get out your notebooks, and we'll review what we covered last semester.."

She droned on in her sickeningly cheery voice, and it was amazing at how easily I was able to tune her out. The tip of my pencil traced lightly over the first, blank page in my book as I dragged it across the paper absently, fully prepared to settle in for a boring waste of my time. I glanced about the classroom, but there was hardly anything interesting about it; it was simply a small, square box in which we had been confined in. There was a painting here and there someone had hung to make a feeble attempt to liven up the room, but it was nothing compared to the brilliant tapestries that had been hung in the Cair's spacious, marble halls.

It was a dull, little room, perhaps the dullest I had ever been in. If there hadn't been a window beside me, I might have suffocated from the drab. It was absolutely horrifying to me! If I had to deal with this for the rest of my life..

I knew I wouldn't. It couldn't possibly be allowed. We were meant for Narnia, not this tired, rough lifestyle. Aslan wouldn't allow it, that I was sure of.

The mere thought of the Lion sent warmth through me, and though I suddenly felt rather happy, I frowned to myself. I knew that thinking of Narnia for periods of time often resulted in pain, vivid pain, being able to remember it but not being able to see it. I needed to direct my attention onto something else.

The only issue was that there was nothing else to really focus on. The few things that held some bit of interest held very little interest, and they were hardly worth my time. I stared out the window, tapping my pencil softly against the wood of my desk in slight irritation. I was going to go insane, trapped in here.

The grounds were pristine and the grass was cut so short it was ridiculous. What a waste of beautiful land. I couldn't help but notice that it _would_ be a rather good place to ride, if there were any horses at my hands. I smirked at the thought of what Philip would make of our horses, or rather, the lack of Horses, and the lack of good grass—

Wait. Right. Wasn't supposed to think of those things.

Faintly, I registered some sort of talk about math in the background, no doubt incredibly basic. With a faint groan, I turned my gaze lazily back towards the teacher, noticing two things. One, there was something written on the board. Secondly, she was staring right at me.

"Mr. Pevensie, perhaps you could come up to the front and write the answer on the board, since you are paying such close attention." She gave me that stupid grin, and it took self reminding to not mutter "Idiot," under my breath. I heard a few snickers from behind me as I stood, my eyes dull and taking one glance at the equation on the board. Twelve times eight. Typical, they _had _to be so laughingly easy. Without another thought towards the problem, I scrawled ninety six on the board, slipping back into my seat and dusting off my now chalky white hands. I glanced up at the teacher, setting her with a cool gaze as she gave a contempt look before turning to look at what I had written, and it was almost as if someone had dealt her a blow to the face. I smirked. After all, what was to expect, after all the hours spent in the library with Tumnus studying so hard; I wasn't called wise for no reason—

I winced to myself, pushing thoughts of the faun and my titles from my mind. No. Not now.

I could hear the teacher talking hesitantly at long last—"Very..er.. good; now would you come up and do the next one, Anna;" but I wasn't really listening. I was watching without looking. I could sense the surprise, and it annoyed me. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and glanced up to see the girl beside me—Anna—staring at me in disbelief as she stood. My eyes narrowed in irritation, and she turned promptly and walked up to the board in an embarrassed fluster. Her problem was fifteen times three. "Forty five," I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes as I turned away, glaring out the window. It took her a full minute to do the problem.

Class went on somewhat along those lines. About five more times, she tried to catch me on the unaware, trying to humiliate me, I think. So sorry for her; I'd been through fifteen years of excellent teaching that she would never be able to live up to, or catch up to. This was all a joke to me, and it was completely void of humor. By the time the bell rang, I was nearly fuming in irritation. Snatching up my books, I escaped through the door, walking briskly down the hall and just away from that box of a room. I thought I might have heard someone call my name, but I just kept walking. There was no way I was going back _there_.

I hadn't the faintest idea as to where any of my siblings might be, so I didn't really bother myself by looking for them. Hopefully there would be plenty of time later to discuss the horrors of this _joke_. At the moment, I just needed to vent.

I managed to find a courtyard—swarming with students, of course, but I didn't really mind this time, seeing as I could hopefully blend in and not distract people—and stole a seat on one of the few benches. They were empty. Everyone seemed to stand. So I felt no guilt at all when I put my books beside me and hid my burning face in my hands, gasping slightly. At least the pain of my remembrance wasn't overbearing, but it was enough to leave me breathless. Not to mention my immense irritation. How in Aslan's name was I supposed to live through this torture? I felt humiliated and out of place in what everyone here called everyday clothes, embarrassed for the people in my class by their stupidity, students and teacher alike.. I wasn't ever going to get the hang of this.

"You're odd." The statement seemed to override the senseless chatter in the background, and it was definitely louder, or closer at any rate. I ignored it at first, before I realized that the absence of the voice was an awkward silence I was drawing out. The statement had been directed at _me._

I lifted my head. Her eyes were the first thing that stood out; they were huge, larger than any I had ever seen, seemingly bright grey, and they stared down at me as I blinked blankly. Besides her brilliant eyes, she was overall seemingly normal in the English world, with her standard girl's uniform and her blonde hair pulled back with a clip. I didn't recognize her. Actually, I did. She was the girl that had been staring the door down before class. But no name came to mind. Obviously, I had actually never met her.

She continued to stare at me, but it wasn't accusing, mocking, or anything I would've expected with such a comment. Her eyes flashed expectantly. It took me a moment to get it. She was waiting for a reply.

I hadn't really expected such a direct contact with anyone, having thought I could just fade into the background, but I really wasn't ready for such a direct statement. When I realized I had been gaping, I gasped, "Sorry." She tilted her head to one side. Not the right thing to say. Regaining my demeanor, I said a little more convincingly, "What?"

That seemed to fit. Her lips curled into a small, delighted little smile as she repeated in the same, standard, plain voice, "You're odd."

Alright then? I wasn't so much surprised anymore, but more or less annoyed. "Might I ask why?"

She blinked and said, "If you want to." The tone of her voice was serious. This wasn't a joke for her.

I raised an eyebrow. This was a waste of time. "Well, I do," I said, trying to make the edge to my voice clear.

She tilted her head even further, her large eyes aglow as they continued to stare me down. I felt squirmed slightly under her gaze. "Well, ask then, silly!" She didn't laugh, but something told me that she was amused.

I was on the verge of just snatching my things and leaving, but whether it was her brightened eyes or just her odd behavior, I stayed, staring at her incredulously. She was being perfectly serious. She wasn't making a joke. It made me want to laugh. At the same time, it made me want to go run and hide under a rock.

I didn't ask. Instead, I said, "I'm not odd."

She tapped her foot, placing one hand on her chin as she squinted her eyes, looking me over as I felt my face begin to burn again. "Well, maybe you're not odd _looking_, but _you _are odd," she finally said, relaxing and blinking her eyes wide once more. She paused before saying, "You are smart. Or did you cheat?"

Oh, now I was miffed. "How could I cheat on a blackboard?" I asked glumly, my eyes narrow. Was everyone simply amazed with simple math skills?

But at my statement, her eyes widened impossibly more. "Why, you're right!" she exclaimed, gawking. "But then that means _I'm_ right! You are odd!"

"Intelligence makes me odd?"

"Well, alright then. Maybe not just that. But…" She paused, her voice now going down to a whisper as she leaned towards me so I could hear. "You walk. You talk. But everything about the normal things is.. odd." She straightened then, staring at me again. "You are quite odd indeed."

Like she was one to be talking.

"I simply have dignity," I countered.

She gawked again. "You're doing it!" she shrieked, absolutely delighted. People were turning to stare at her now; I knew my cheeks were flushing an even deeper red.

"Talking?" I asked, exasperated.

She calmed down again, catching her breath, becoming motionless as she stared at me again. "No, no, it's not the fact that you are talking. People do it all the time. If it was talking that made you odd, then _everyone_ would be odd, and everyone would be quiet, which would make it very hard to communicate to other people."

I blinked.

"Anyways, no is the answer. It's the _way_ you talk. Everything you should do normally, you do oddly. You stand out." She blinked her large eyes at me.

Oh no. It wasn't like I was receiving odd stares all the time. So I did a simple math problem. How was that so different?

"I don't stand out," I replied stubbornly.

She stared at me silently for another long moment. Her gaze continued to set me off edge, and I disliked it. I wasn't different.. noticeably. I hadn't done anything too out of the ordinary, for Aslan's sake. "Well, believe what you like," she finally said. "But _I_ think you are very different." I waited for her to elaborate as she stood, but she remained silent, until she flashed her grey eyes at me once more and turned and walked away. "'Bye, Edmund."

I knew I was probably gawking at her as I watched her disappear into the sea of students, and as I returned my attention to myself, I realized I was gawking, and immediately stopped. That was one of the more interesting experiences of my life in this world. She looked normal enough, but her actions spoke loudly enough, and they were screaming, "I'm different!" It seemed as if she had been describing herself the whole time she had been talking.

She'd noticed much too quickly, too. No one else seemed to notice, or care; so I had the fastest one to answer questions. So I had set the teacher off. She was a stupid woman, anyone could have.

I might have followed after her, but she was no where to be found, and I realized I hadn't caught her name. I would see her every morning, though; we had at least one class together. No need to rush about, or seem needy. She was just an odd girl. And to her I was an odd boy.

I didn't understand. And I was curious as to why.


	3. 2 Books

_Yes, an update at last! Summer's on it's way, but please don't remind me. I'm so sad, because I'm moving this summer out of the state I'm currently in, and probably won't be seeing a lot of people I love once the school year's over. Which is basically this Friday. D: So so so sad. Thats partially what gave me the sudden drive to start this up again; I need something to totally distract me from everything right now. Life's been kind of.. not so great. So I hope you guys enjoy this, hopefully I'll be a regular updater again. c:_

_Another note: I know, I know; girls and boys go to different schools in the books. Please bear with me, i'm not perfect. I think I stated that in the last chapter, but just in case, passing it by you again. ;) AND OMG I SAW CASPIAN THE DAY IT CAME OUT AND i nearly died of happiness. Enough ranting, let's go._

The rest of my first day back at school was nearly just as eventful; each class being so boring and basic to the point of driving me to having to resist banging my head against my desk

The rest of my first day back at school was nearly just as eventful; each class being so boring and basic to the point of driving me to having to resist banging my head against my desk. Much to my dismay as well, I found that not all of my classes had a window at my disposal to distract me from the vile lectures. However, they all maintained the fairly similar box-like qualities with half-hearted attempts to liven up the room. So, in short, I had a peachy year looking me straight in the face.

The worst part was that I had to tone down my true intellect so that I didn't stand out. The first class period of the day had seemingly brought me back down to earth and out of my moping effectively, and now I was trying so desperately to play dumb. Of course, it was nearly impossible, but I didn't think I could handle such a personal confrontation again.

The school part of the day was over, and the final free period was currently in session as I wandered through the mostly empty hallways. Most people were outside, where I knew I would eventually end up later with a lack of anything better to do, but I needed some silence for a change. The school could pass for ancient, with its old fashioned arched ceilings and faded wood doors. If I used my imagination and closed my eyes, I could rearrange and change everything in my head to a likeness to that of the Cair.

Just.. whitewash everything with marble.. and columns just up ahead.. and the dais with the four thrones in the center of the Great Hall.. the smell of salt mixed with the scream of the gulls and it was there—

My eyes snapped open at the echo of footsteps down the hall, and the drab of it all blew away my fake image of home within less than a second. Sullen, I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked up to the figure of a squat woman round the corner, fumbling with some papers. She turned her beady eyes on me, to which I returned with a cool glare of my own.

A small smile split her thin lips. The seemingly warm gesture was rotten. "Ah, Pevensie. Nice work today." As she neared, I realized it was the teacher from my math class.. and was that mockery in her voice? At a time like this, when I would normally return a scowl, it crossed my mind that I couldn't remember her name.

"Thank you," I said instead, keeping my expression blank. I really didn't want to be here, talking to this waste of a person who called herself a mentor.

"I take it that Peter compelled you to study over the break?"

There was something about the way she said the words that caused disgust to well up inside my gut, simmering there as I stared at her incredulously. She'd twisted her mouth around the words, deliberately slipping them out and letting them hang in the air like secondhand smoke. "No," I said, coldly. Realizing I'd left a cliffhanger, I added, "I took it upon myself. He also studied hard as well.."

"I see." She gave me that smile void of warmth again. "Well, run along, you don't need to be wandering the halls."

"I was actually on my way outside," I replied shortly. "Later."

As I rounded the corner, my hands balled into fists in my pockets, I exhaled loudly, torn between laughing hysterically and fuming in pure anger. After all, she was such an _imbecile_, I almost felt bad for her. But the way she talked down to me made my blood boil.

Everyone talked down to me here. Even my own peers! I didn't understand. What kind of world could survive with such…disrespect?

I sighed, walking onwards, rounding random corners to my choosing, glancing about the uninteresting hallways, just about ready to give up and face whatever would be outside when I paused. My eyes had leveled onto a slightly ornate door and over the small golden plaque with small lettering that read "LIBRARY." Finally! Some sort of stroke of luck.

I pushed on the door, half dreading it would be closed, but found that the large oak door swung open with ease, unlocked and leading me straight into a personal haven. Few students littered throughout the rows and rows of bookshelves, clutching papers and nosing through the books disinterestedly. I felt an insane sort of excitement at seeing something that was slightly relative to the Cair.

Approaching the shelves, however, my eyes widened slightly at the unfamiliar titles. Of course, I'd forgotten I would know nothing of these books; I was only used to Narnian literature. A little crestfallen, I plucked one from the shelf, flipping it open to a random page. I hadn't even read more than two words when a heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

Completely caught off guard in such a quiet environment, I dropped the book in my surprise, whipping my head up with wide eyes to meet crystal blues. "Sorry, Ed; didn't mean to scare you," said Peter apologetically, releasing my shoulder to bend down and pick up the book.

"Jeez, Peter," I exclaimed, relief slowly seeping through me over the shock. I shook my head, attempting to regather myself.

"I said sorry." His lips turned up at the corners, blue eyes sparkling in silent laughter. I couldn't believe my brother sometimes. Not for scaring me, but just the way he looked. Staring at him now in the library, he contrasted so vividly against such a drab setting it was alarming. Was that what that girl had meant? I'd been thinking about that. "I thought I'd find you here," he continued, looking around the books. Noting my sour expression, he added, "It's not…"

He trailed off, but there wasn't a need for him to finish the sentence. I knew what he meant, and I sighed in response. "You don't think _he's_ going to make us wait too terribly long…do you?"

Peter frowned slightly at this, and I winced. Mentioning Aslan was always a touchy subject, but I couldn't help it. I missed the warmth of it all… Peter and Susan hadn't wanted to mention it much, though. It was hard, for all of us, but they were so much more withdrawn to _him_.

"Dunno." The reply was short, and I leveled a look at him, but his eyes were averted now. "How was your first day?"

I was quiet for a moment, completely unappreciative of the subject change, chewing thoughtfully on my bottom lip. When I didn't respond right away, he finally met my gaze again. I saw the slight concern, but it didn't flatter me. "I'm sorry, Ed," he sighed finally, and I could tell he was struggling for words. "I just…don't…"

I remained silent, taking the book from his hand and replacing it back on the shelf, saying, "I know, but you can't just forget. Susan's already trying, and I don't need you following her perfect example."

"Susan's _trying_ to fit in with this life," he defended our sister, now giving me a glare of his own. "Don't do this, Ed."

I said nothing, for I knew whatever I said next would only upset him further. He hesitated for a moment, before talking again. "I'm going to look for Susan, and Lucy, actually." Of course. Father-figure Peter going to check on everyone. I didn't bother to ask why he didn't check on the girls first; I had as good a guess as anyone, and nodded in reply. "Hang in there, Ed." His hand gripped my shoulder again, before releasing me and turning to exit the library. I watched him, until he turned out of sight, before turning my eyes back to the bookshelves, searching for anything of interest.

I looked over various titles, all of which were unappealing, partially because of my hunger for something familiar, and just because I was tired of trying. With a sigh, I scanned without seeing yet again another shelf, before finally giving up and moving to leave the library. No one gave me a second glance as I left the poor excuse for a library.

By the time I'd walked outside, it was already dusk. Children littered the grounds, huddled in their own groups. My face felt slightly reddened, being alone and an easy target to look at, which was the last thing I wanted right now. What could I do? I should have followed Peter, but then that meant I would have to see all of my siblings together with this hideous background. I didn't think I could handle such a situation. So I trudged along alone, catching whiffs of conversations, passing a group of giggling girls. I spared a passing glance for them, slowing in mid step at meeting one of their gazes. She was scowling at me, and the look on such a young girl made me smirk in amusement.

It was Anna, from the morning's lesson. She walked away from her other friends, coming to stand in front of me with an incredulous expression on her face. "What was with this morning?" she demanded. Her voice was annoying.

I wasn't in the mood for another showdown. I shrugged, starting to walk away, when she grabbed my arm, digging unpleasantly into my arm through my sleeves. "Hey!" I protested, irritated now, yanking out of her grasp.

She was already talking, though. "I'm not stupid, Pevensie—"

"My name's Edmund."

"Shut up, I'm talking." I snickered quietly, to which I received a withering glare. "I'm not stupid; what's changed? Your mummy treating you better now? Or is it your brother?"

My amusement faded. There it was again; the bitterness lining her words. I didn't understand. And Peter, there he was, mentioned again. "Pardon?"

She sneered at me. "Maybe you were still asleep this morning. You're still an idiot."

I looked at her strangely, still uncomprehending. Why was it so hard for me to remember? Names, those were easy, but my own experiences were faded gray. There must have been something. Something I was missing. "Sure," I said disinterestedly, pulling myself away from the conversation, ignoring her protests as I walked away from her.

I walked aimlessly, befuddled beyond all reason. What was with this? It couldn't be normal, because I had witnessed no others being confronted as I was now. It was, to say the least, annoying, especially because I could not understand. I wasn't used to not getting information, neatly and organized, ready for me at any given time. And I wasn't happy about it.

I had my eyes trained hard on the ground, but I wasn't really seeing. The sudden sense of running into someone finally jolted me out of my thoughts, and I gasped at the suddenness of it all, reeling backwards and watching as a few papers swung through the air, fluttering down towards the ground. And then the unbelievably wide grey eyes caught my attention and the papers faded from view. She smiled.

"Oh, hello!"


	4. 3 Thought

_Yeah, this one's a little strange. Do you have any idea how bothersome it is to prepare a house for selling? Ugh. Well, it's quick cos it's late. :o_

Kneeling to pick up the fallen papers, the girl turned her large owl-like eyes away from me, causing me to blink in surprise before bending to pick up a small stack near my feet

Kneeling to pick up the fallen papers, the girl turned her large owl-like eyes away from me, causing me to blink in surprise before bending to pick up a small stack near my feet. I watched her warily as she leapt fluidly back on her feet, swaying slightly before standing straight, moving the hair out of her eyes. Turning her gray eyes back onto me, I organized the papers in my hands before handing them over hurriedly. "Er, sorry," I muttered as she took them. "For running into you, I mean."

Her eyes sparkled at me. "Oh, it's quite alright. _I'm_ sorry for jolting you. You seemed quite thoughtful. I sure hope you didn't forget what it was; I know that it's rather annoying when that happens." I blinked at her, but she rattled on, unashamed in the least. "I always have to sit and ponder for hours about what I was pondering over, and when it finally dawns on me, I think Oh! and it seems like such a silly thing to have forgotten!"

I blinked again, putting my hands back in my pockets to prevent from fidgeting uneasily. "Uhm…what?"

She giggled at my question, her lips splitting into a warm smile. "Oh, never mind," she waved it away.

What an odd…girl. She was still wearing the same old uniform, and yet she still managed to stand out easily. Her sandy hair was pulled back into a ponytail now, two pencils stuck through it in an X, and her feet were bare. "What are you doing out here?" I inquired, noticing that the paper she clutched was not school work. It was a stupid question, I realized a moment later; it was the free period, for Aslan's sake—of course it wouldn't be schoolwork. But she responded readily enough, not finding anything odd about my question.

"Oh, I was just over in the trees over there," she replied, gesturing over at the cluster of trees some paces behind me. "I like going out there to practice my sketch work. It's rather…peaceful, I suppose."

"Oh." I couldn't help but notice the paper was blank, but as I looked for a brief moment, she caught my spying and drew the paper closer to her with a small smile. I looked back up, feeling the heat rushing to my face, but she was staring at me again, just like this morning.

"You're so strange," she said finally, her voice slow, thoughtful. Just as I was ready to sigh in exasperation, she opened her mouth again, her lips forming around the words carefully. "I'm not sure why…I know that it's the way you act, but there's just not a way for me to place my finger on it."

I stood quietly, listening to what she had to say, but disappointed at the lack of a true answer; after all, this was slightly amusing as it was alarming. Of course she could never really guess it, but I would've liked to hear what ever story she could come up with. She was still standing there, studying me, when she spoke up suddenly; "It's like you're not even from Britain. And I know you are."

Now I froze. That hadn't been expected at all. "O-of course I'm from Britain," I retorted, narrowing my eyes at her. How could she possibly see through me so easily? It was impossible, completely unbelievable. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. She looked at me dubiously; I'd spoken too quickly. Instead of dwelling on that, I switched over to something else she'd stated; "How would you know of my origins, though? How do you even know my name? I don't know yours."

She looked at me for a moment, studying me still, and I stared back stubbornly, glad to be the one inquiring on someone else for a change. "Oh, I suppose you're quite right," she piped up lightly. "My name is Bella." She stuck out her free hand. "Charmed to meet you."

I stared at her. Her hand hung in the air, her gray eyes gazing up at me expectantly. Again, she was acting so silly, and being serious about the matter. There was no trace of mockery on her face, no taunting, no spite. It confused me. Hesitantly, I took her hand, and she shook it in return, and then returning it to her side as if nothing out of the usual had happened. "I suppose you wouldn't know me, seeing as we've never really talked before, but we _have_ been in the same class for a year now," she said airily. She tilted her head, squinting an eye at me as she pointed towards her temple with one slender finger. "I have a knack for remembering names and faces alike. It's quite helpful really."

I stared at her some more.

I couldn't wrap my mind around this being standing in front of me, who was currently wriggling her toes in the grass. Here was a girl, and that alone was enough to have me dumbfounded; girls in Britain seemed so air-headed and emotional, it was best to just stay away from them. Whereas this one hadn't a problem with thinking and having her thoughts heard, and acted in such a way, it shockingly contrasted with everything else around her. No one was so bold here. Everyone kept to themselves, or else in their common groups of friends who were so similar to each other. Bella, on the other hand, was…well, her.

"I don't really think I'm the odd one here," I said slowly. It might've been seen as a mean thing to say, but I seriously doubted this would harm her.

She did not burst into giggles, as I half expected, and for a moment I thought I might have really hurt her feelings. However she did retain her thoughtful composure, her gaze remaining leveled upon me. "Yes, it's quite possible," she said serenely. "People often express the idea that I am unique."

Unique? More like queer, but I kept that to myself.

"Anyways," she continued, "even if that may be the case, you stand out quite a bit, you know. It's really noticeable by the change in your behavior."

That caught my attention. "I…don't understand." I'd heard that quite a bit today…not as explicitly laid out like Bella had just said, but it had been easy to pick past the thin veils. Everyone was seemingly stunned by me it seemed, and I could think of little reason as to _why_. Apparently, I'd found my source to the answer. "How am I so different?"

Now she seemed confused as she blinked her eyes slowly at me, shifting slightly as the corners of her mouth tilted down. "That's an easy question," she replied slowly. "Easier, at least, than why you are different…Are you really that prone to forgetfulness, Edmund?"

I had no reply for that, except perhaps a retort or two. She blinked again, before glancing down at her watch. "Uhm, I really actually do have to go," she said suddenly. "If I don't get back to my dorm now, my stuff will be all over the floor…Quite bothersome, really." I was clearly over trying to understand her strange way of saying things, so disregarded the statement once she had gotten the message through that she was leaving. How untimely. "I suppose I'll see you again later, Edmund."

I watched her as she ran back up towards the school building without so much as a second glance, clutching the papers to her chest still, before turning and walking on with only my own company once more.

My mind felt as if it were on fire, due to the many things running through it all at once. It didn't help that this _girl_ was now conversing with me, because by far, she was one of the more confusing things on my mind. For Aslan's sake, she was simply so…strange! Even to me, and I was quite sure that I had seen so much more than any of these mere _children_ who stood in my vicinity now, who I was sure thought that she was simply _batty._ _Mad_, they probably called her. No one, not a single soul I had met today had been strange or out of the ordinary (or at least for London; everything here was strange to me). But she…ugh. I didn't even want to think about it anymore, or anything she said, seeing as none of it made sense…

Fitting in, however, was my biggest priority; _our_ biggest priority, I and my siblings had established, shortly before the year had started. The last thing we needed was to be noticeable. As I preferred to see it, we just needed to bear with this hell until we went back…home. It was the first thing that came to mind, and it made me ache with longing at the thought, but I felt as if I _felt _anything else that was too strong, I would explode, for heaven's sake.

Bella had at least provided some half-hearted answers. Clearly, I wasn't being inconspicuous enough. But now that I thought of it, Bella wasn't the only one to mention said problem. Anna had obviously meant something along those lines, even the squat teacher had questioned it. I had some work to do…Although I wasn't sure how much more I could bend down. Alright, so maybe I had been a bit of a show off in the classroom; I'd have to suppress my rightful intellect as much as possible.

Remembering everything was an issue as well. It didn't come easily at all for some, not so bad for others, but I needed to understand everything as soon as humanly possible, to better blend in with my new peers. Everyone was going to see through the charade if suddenly, after only a few weeks, I was clueless about everyone and everything. I needed to learn, which meant getting closer to these…_children_, which was going to prove a difficult task, but a necessary one.

The worst part was that I just couldn't…remember…

I couldn't remember me?

I don't think I wanted to.

Dusk was now turning into night, and I realized with a sense of relief that the grounds were nearly empty, and I continued to trudge forward, far enough away now that I was completely and utterly alone. Aware of a tree passing me, and then another, and many more, it came to my attention that I was wandering through the woods Bella had indicated towards earlier. It was dark, and I knew that students probably weren't permitted out late at night, but my feet continued to lead me past the looming figures of the trees, which were so unnaturally still and silent. I shivered.

However, I didn't want to go back to the school. This landscape was just as strange, just as different, but then it…wasn't. It was _away_. It was its own self, silent and unbothersome, leaving me alone in this alien setting where I could finally be myself without worrying about being seen.

As I walked forward still, until I realized…there wasn't silence at all. In fact, there was noise, soft noise however, and it was comforting. I walked towards it for lack of anything better to do, letting the sound grow and fill my ears, still quiet, but loud in the silence of the dead trees. I walked until unmistakably before me was a small bubbling stream, running to my left and right as far as I could see, the _drip-fop _of the water running oh so comforting to me. It really was small, but it was enough. It was raw. I wasn't really sure what it was, but I leaned against a tall oak and slid softly down to sit at its base, staring at the water.

No naiads came to greet me. The dryads didn't suddenly wake up and laugh at the joke they had played on me. No Animals rushed from the shadows of the wood, gleeful like I knew they would be in such a situation, asking, "_Were we really that quiet? Did you really believe we were gone?"_ It was a little sad when my final hope twisted and turned, flung into the lifeless water to be swept away, but I didn't expect much as it was. But it was as close to home—no, closer—than the library, and I felt at as much of peace I was sure was possible to feel in this strange world for quite some time. I kept my gaze on the stream, trying for once not to think of what was happening.


End file.
